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Stress - The Energizer
We think of stress as something to eliminate but stress is also
essential to a fulfilled life. It’s what enables us to give interesting
presentations, makes sporting events fun to watch, serves as a
protection in dangerous situations and motivation during a challenge.
My Favorite Definition
Stress is a normal physiological response to perceived threats designed
to energize you. It includes physical, mental and emotional reactions to
internal or external events.
What Are The Different Kinds of Stress?
Acute stress is short term and short lived. An example would be
approaching an intersection and almost getting into an accident.
Repetitive stress is caused by pressures that affect us repeatedly such
as driving in rush hour traffic. It's one of the factors in road rage.
Chronic stress occurs when we are exposed to pressures over a long
period of time. Living in an unsafe neighborhood or caring for an aging
parent would be examples of chronic stress.
Step Two: The Stress Assessment
Stress Management is an ongoing process. Our lives are so busy that
events can take us by storm before we realize there is a problem.
Looking at the whole picture can give you a better idea of the stress
you face day to day.
Are your surroundings comfortable and pleasing?
* Is your environment comfortable, organized and clean?
* Can you easily find important papers?
* Do you have maintenance issues left unfinished in your environment?
* Is your home large enough to allow quiet time for each family member?
* Is your neighborhood safe?
* Does your car run smoothly and is it reliable?
Are you having problems in relationships at home or at work?
* Do you work with someone that is unusually aggressive or obnoxious?
* Does your boss make unrealistic demands of you?
* If you are the boss, are your employees cooperative and reliable?
* Do you have friends and and family that you can depend on?
* How is your relationship with family and your significant other?
* Are you a caregiver?
* Do you have a blended family?
* Do you have ongoing custody or divorce issues?
* Are you a new parent, or parent of a teen?
* Do you find discipline and limit setting difficult?
Is your involvement in organizations or the government giving you
headaches?
* Are you involved with the Zoning commission, City Hall, Social
Security or disability red tape?
* Are you involved with your child's school and is it a pleasant
experience?
* Are you facing IRS or other governmental or organizational deadlines
that you have no control over?
* Do you hold office or are you a founding member of an association?
What does your schedule look like?
* How rushed is your morning routine?
* Your commute to or from work?
* Are you responsible for other family members daily routines, ie:
children or parents?
* How many activities are your children involved in?
* How many activities are you involved in?
What lifestyle choices have you made?
* Are you eating a balanced diet?
* Do you exercise?
* Do you smoke or drink alcohol more than a few times per week?
* Do you allow enough time to complete scheduled projects?
* Do you have enough financial resources or are you meeting financial
deadlines?
Do you have self-limiting beliefs?
* Do you frequently find yourself saying, "I can't do this" or "I can't
stand this?"
* Pay attention to your inner dialog for a few days. What do you find
yourself thinking about or saying to yourself?
* Do you frequently exaggerate events, making "mountains out of
molehills?"
Are you flexible?
* Do you look at things as right/wrong or black/white with few gray
areas?
* Do you agree with the saying, "If you are going to do something, do it
right?"
* When you hear someone else's opinion, can you consider it or are you
set in your ways?
Do you have a stressful personality?
* Do you have characteristics such as perfectionism, intolerance for the
shortcomings of others, or are you pushing yourself?
* Do you find yourself regularly working overtime and taking work home?
* How much importance do you place on other people liking or respecting
you?
Do your goals match your values?
Inner turmoil can result if your goals and values aren't on the same
page. It can be just an uncomfortable feeling and difficult to identify.
How balanced is your life?
* Does your career take up the majority of your time?
* Are you leaving time for personal pursuits?
* Are you neglecting or ignoring critical aspects of your life?
Step Three: Evaluate
What are you doing now to manage your stress? Are you taking into
consideration the following?
The Mind - Body Interaction - New research is acknowledging the
interaction between our perception of stress and how we respond.
Life Balance - If one part of our life is out of balance, it will affect
the others and set us up for more issues.
Prevention - Reduction - Relief. Include all three in your arsenal.
Self Care - Nutrition, exercise and health. Consider it part of your
prevention. It's difficult to cope if we don't have energy yet it's the
most frequently overlooked aspect of
stress management.
Evaluate your stressors and take action. Target your coping techniques
to the issues. If you're experiencing worry or a lack concentration -
meditation and relaxation breathing might help. If you're are having
neck pain or tension headaches - progressive muscular relaxation in
addition to exercise is the Rx.
Develop resilience or the "hardy" personality. Adjust your attitude
regarding stressful events. Adopt a balanced optimism. Take your
vacations instead of letting the hours accumulate. Schedule rest and
relaxation time daily - even if it's taking a bath, walking or reading a
few pages in a book.
Are you directing your life or is it directing you? Take charge and
develop a plan to deal with the pressures. Be aware of your needs. Pay
attention to the signals your body is giving you both physically and
psychologically. Look into assertiveness, communication skills, anger
management, and time management. The higher our skill set is in these
areas, the less likely we'll be suffering relationship and productivity
issues.
Include these areas into your stress relief plan and you'll be armed
with techniques that will reduce the likely hood of suffering health
effects from stress. Your life will be calmer and more productive. If
crisis situations develop, you'll be more prepared to handle it.
Step Four: Plan Your Coping Strategies
Think Prevention - Reduction - Relief.
Prevention:
We can change our perception of stressful events but it's one of the
most difficult methods of prevention. It is also the most promising
method to provide lasting relief. We can include emotional intelligence,
exercise and nutrition into this equation also.
Reduction
We can reduce the amount of stress we feel by changing what we can and
developing coping skills for the rest. We have choices. We can tolerate
the issue or make changes. It's up to us.
Relief
Stress relief involves matching the methods of relief to the cause of
our triggers. For instance, meditation targets psychological effects of
stress and muscular relaxation targets physical effects.
Where were the majority of your stressors coming from? Take a notebook
and designate two columns - change and tolerate. Take each of your
stressors and list them in the appropriate column. Your stressors
designated in the change column will require setting goals. Your
stressors in the tolerate column involves developing coping skills for
management. Outline your plan of action.
Step Five: Evaluate
Once we make a plan or set a goal, most of us stop right there but the
most important part of goal setting is ongoing evaluation. Life will
throw us roadblocks. We need to be flexible and re-evaluate often. How
is your stress plan working? Have your issues changed?
Having a stress plan keeps us mindful of our choices. We can choose to
react to life - or we can develop a plan to manage it!
By
Cathy Gariety
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