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Their lack of
dealing with the anger problems leads to the inability to
trust others. They exhibit suspicious, judgmental, or jealous
characteristics toward others. Angry people might try to undermine
others, and be disruptive if they do not agree with something. An angry
person is not pleasant to be around, and they desperately need help.
Recently I heard about a woman that had serious anger problems. For
seemingly no reason she would react to what most people would consider
minor issues such as a child eating too much or eating something that
she envied.
Something like this was enough to bring about an irrational reaction.
Sometimes she was mild in her acts, and other times she was out of
control. In most cases, she had no basis for her behavior; however,
there was an underlying source, as is usually the case.
The woman did in fact display anti-social behaviors, and she often
conveyed odd thinking patterns. For example, she would say that all men
are pigs. She also talked about leading men on; leading them down to her
basement and having alligators eat them alive. The woman was unbalanced
and very ill.
Now she was diagnosed with Bipolar – Manic Depression, and Posttraumatic
Stress Disorder. After careful examination Posttraumatic Stress was
dismissed and the diagnosis was that of exaggerated, anti-social traits.
According to her, the cause for her anger was that the many men she had
been involved with had mistreated her. This was only part of the reason,
and the truth surfaced when she talked more about her life. She had been
adopted as a child; therefore, she felt a sense of abandonment.
The origin here is understandable, since she most likely resented her
parents for giving her up for adoption. Even if the parents’ reasons
were valid, she rebuffs when prompted to hear the other side of the
story. Since the woman’s symptoms were ongoing, the treatment would
probably never work since she was a victim of her own mind and in
denial.
It was obvious that the woman had anger manifesting in her own
behaviors. She performed illegal acts, such as writing bad checks.
Therefore, the symptoms she endured were partially of her own choice.
She produced her anger and paranoia; therefore her anger is her own
responsibility.
However, angry people will often undermine others. For example, an angry
individual might say something like: try these diet pills; they will
help you take off some weight. The angry person is well aware that the
other individual has a sore spot about their weight, even though she is
normal weight. Therefore, the angry person is trying to disparage the
individual by undermining her
self-esteem.
An angry person will also seek attention and use damaging words. For
example, an angry person might say, “I am fat”. The angry person is
waiting for you to disagree, and offer compliments. The best thing to do
in this situation is to ignore the angry person. Because denial is at
the source of the problem, no matter how many times you try to convince
the person otherwise, they will not believe you.
By:
Ken Snowie
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