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1. Breathe. Anger is an abstract term used to encapsulate that feeling
of rage and passionate displeasure over something, someone, or maybe
even yourself. It may feel so overwhelming that you normally seek ways
to release it. You imagine yourself bursting into pieces if you fail to
do so.
However, simply releasing it and exploding in fury often times result to
a mess - leaving a trail of hurt feelings, unkind words, and damaged
relations.
There is a better way of
releasing anger systematically. Just breathe -
inhale and exhale. Fill your brain and body with oxygen, and then count
from one to ten. If you have an extremely negative thought about
someone, try counting from one to ten until the anger subsides.
2. Never release your anger on persons or objects. This is the usual
mistake of people who could not contain what they feel. Never punch
someone or pound the mirror for you will only hurt yourself. Do not
throw that flower vase! It is made of genuine China porcelain and is
expensive. Do not throw your engagement ring! It is a handcrafted
heirloom and it belonged to your fiancé’s great-grandmother.
The list can go on but the bottom line is this: there is no point of
lashing out on people or objects. You will only regret your actions; and
there is no sense of accomplishment in having to pay for items that are
ruined. The damage has been done and you will only feel deeply
remorseful.
3. Refrain from doing anything when you are angry. Rational thinking
evades you when you are overwhelmed or engulfed by emotions. In that
state of fury, it is almost impossible to be rational about the things
you do or say. It is only after you unleashed the anger that you begin
to realize the greater damage that has been done, and then you feel
regret and sorry afterwards. Even if you do ask for forgiveness,
sometimes it is just too late. You have already hurt someone’s feelings
irreparably.
To prevent complicating things, seek relief from solitude and quietness.
Be quiet. Do not curse – you may be liable for slander, defamation, or
verbal abuse. Control yourself.
If you have to say something, make sure it will reap positive results.
In one of the training sessions on personal development, one speaker
shared this technique: If you feel angry with someone, say to yourself,
“I bless you and wish you well”. This will allow you to transform the
situation into something favorable for both parties involved.
4. If you really, really need to express anger, leave and go somewhere
else. If you badly need to say something or shout, go some place where
no one could hear you. Go to the washroom and shout as loud as you can.
Better yet, release your anger by shouting in front of the mirror. When
in front of the mirror, you will realize that anger does not look good
on you at all. In some cases, people laugh upon seeing weird, contorted,
and funny versions of themselves in the mirror.
5. Evaluate the reason for your anger. When you are already calm, look
at the bigger picture. Realize that you may be putting the blame on
others, forgetting that you are also accountable for the
misunderstanding.
Ask yourself. What caused your anger? What triggered your fury? How did
you react? What was the result? What will you do the next time? How can
this experience turn you into a better person?
Sometimes, the problem might only be in the way you look at things.
Maybe it is time for a change in perspective, after sensing bitterness,
pessimism, and skepticism, as this will hamper your capability to
establish meaningful relationships with people. Rather than taking this
disruptive route, take advantage of the lessons that can be learned from
such experience.
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