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Some experts tell us we must learn to think things through and "respond
rather than react". But how do you do that when you are so furious you'd
like nothing better than to punch someone on the nose?
The trick is in being able to switch from your angry state into a state
in which you are calm enough to defuse the situation. The best way I've
found to do this is by using an "anchor". This is a form of
communication with yourself—persuading yourself to change your state and
thus your behaviour. Here's how that works.
In order to calm yourself down, you must remember to breathe normally
and relax any tension you may be feeling, especially in your neck,
shoulders or jaws. An anchor is an action you take that reminds you to
consciously do so. The particular anchor you use is up to you. I like to
squeeze my thumb and forefinger together, and others have told me they
snap their fingers or simply imagine a "stop" sign. It doesn't matter
what you use, as long as you can do it easily and without drawing
attention to yourself.
Decide what your anchor will be. Then close your eyes and silently tell
yourself that each time you do this you will relax your neck, shoulders
and jaws, breathe easily, think clearly and respond calmly. Repeat this
programming process often at first, because your mind needs to get used
to the anchor and the programmed response.
Now, whenever something happens to upset you and make you angry at work
(or anywhere else for that matter), simply use your anchor. You'll be
amazed at how calming the process is.
Once it's embedded in your consciousness, an anger anchor is an
invaluable tool to help you "keep your head while all around are losing
theirs"!
By : Helen Wilkie
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