Anger And Rage Addiction: How To Break The Cycle And Return To Health

      Rage is a shame based expression of anger. Rage is by definition abuse. Ragers react to strong emotions with rage. (i.e. feelings of fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss convert to rage.) Ragers were typically shamed or punished by their caretakers for expressing emotion when they were young; i.e.: "Be a man and don't cry", "Nice girls don't get angry" or "I'll give you something to cry about". Raging gives the rager a feeling of power - offsetting their shame and feelings of inadequacy.

And then you do explode.

Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. Some of your stress is relieved, and you might possibly even have felt good for a few moments while you were releasing, but it doesn't last. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world--either way you don't like the results of your explosion.

You swore you wouldn't do it again, but you just can't seem to stop. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore. You might even think you were justified in your explosion, blaming someone else for how you felt.

Rage sets up a neurochemical reaction in the brain that can be addictive, producing what is known as rageaholism or ragaholics. What Rage Looks Like: Screaming, physical expressions of anger, violence or threats of violence, sulking, manipulation, emotional blackmail, silent smoldering, and anger used to punish. What Healthy Anger looks like: Healthy expression of anger involves confrontation of what makes you angry and an effort to set boundaries. (What you will do in response to what makes you angry.) i.e: When you (a behavior), I feel (a feeling) , and to protect myself I will _________. Healthy anger is not used to punish, is not violent, and isn't used to intimidate, control or manipulate. It is expressed, discussed, and moved through. Healthy anger is not stuffed down and ignored. (Stuffed anger created resentment and a wealth of physical / mental and emotional problems.) Healthy anger is not expressed in passive aggressive and manipulative ways.

CYCLE BREAKERS

Fortunately, there are many different ways to break the cycle of anger/rage addiction.

1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not.

2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior.

3. Giving yourself some relief from physiological distress can also help to break anger/rage addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area.

4. Finding healthy ways to release your anger and rage can be extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle.



WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO

When you have effectively broken the anger and rage addiction cycle, your anger becomes healthy. Healthy anger is one of the most powerful resources you can have, and you can use it in positive ways to create the life of your dreams.