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Step 1 : Identify what makes you upset
Start with identifying what upsets your feelings or emotions. Pull
yourself aside from everything you are doing or the anger situation you
are in, then take a deep breathe and clear your mind. Think, what
brought you into this situation.
You need to know what is wrong in order to correct it. Right?
Step 2 : Use them as a stop signal
When you are done with Step 1, you'd probably already knew what made you
angry. You might not have the complete clear idea of it, but it's OK. At
least you have "some" ideas.
Use these as stop signs for your anger. You're upset because the little
voices inside your head are telling yourself upsetting things. This in
return causes a stir in your feelings, therefore resulting in anger.
Stop all these little voices from talking within yourself, and you'll be
able to think independantly and not being influenced by them and the
situation.
Step 3 : Tell yourself positive things
It's important to think positive. You can counteract your upsetting
thoughts with framing your mind to have a positive self-message. Tell
yourself something nice that will make you feel better.
For instance, "this anger feeling is only temporary and I don't want to
say or do something stupid which I will regret for my actions later."
Put the brakes on your feelings. Tell yourself to slow down and take it
easy.
Step 4 : Make yourself clear
Clarify the situation for yourself. Ask yourself, “What is really going
on in this situation?"
You can then feel disappointed with the situation but not enraged at the
people who are creating it.
Step 5 : Think of constructive goals
Try to set more realistic goals for yourself in regard to the problem
situation that you are in.
Ask yourself, “What are the alternative solutions that I use to resolve
this situation?"
Be specific as possible, and concrete.
"What can you do to change this situation?"
List out the constructive options that you have in mind in which to
reach your goals.
Ask yourself, "What constructive actions can I take to reach my goals?"
Finally, choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act fast on
it.
The 5 simple steps that I had just pointed out to you are exactly what I
do whenever I face with anger situations. You can try them out when you
face with such situations.
Everyone gets angry at times, but the important thing is, "What can you
do to overcome this situation?".
Gain control of your anger, rather than letting it control you.
By: Jamie Sullivan
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